Do We Ever Really See the Whole Picture?

Certainty is rare. At least is should be. It’s safe to say that everyone has beliefs they know to be true that simply aren’t. We wouldn’t even consider the possibility that our strongly held beliefs could be untrue… and yet some are. Passion and conviction (and certainty) are not a good test of truth.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Henry David Thoreau

People we believe to be good will turn out to be bad (and vice versa). Events that were devastating when they occurred will end up unexpectedly yielding positive outcomes in the future. We long for some particular experience to occur, and when our hopes are realized, we find the reality held none of the excitement we imagined. But we only gain these insights with the perspective of time.

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What appears random and meaningless up close, in the moment, when taken in proper perspective, begins to take shape. And finally when we stand back, with some distance between us and the events of our past, we can see the picture begin to take shape. But of course, with more time and perspective we realize there was still more to the picture than we expected or imagined. And so it goes, on and on, a more complete picture continues to emerge, but the entire picture is never fully revealed.

“Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.”

Camille Pissarro

Every day, with every person you meet, you have the opportunity to see things from a different point of view. If you are able to keep your certainty at bay, you will most assuredly come to discover more truth in your life than would otherwise have been possible.

Dream Big or You’ll Probably Get Stuck in the Small Stuff

“In the presence of greatness, pettiness disappears.  In the absence of big dreams, pettiness prevails.”  Peter Senge

Countless stories are told of the remarkable achievement of people’s dreams.  By harnessing the power of imagination and ideas, and tirelessly working to bring them to fruition, the unimaginable has been brought to life.  A big enough dream can be positively all-consuming.

But there is another perspective to consider.  While in pursuit of a big dream, your mind is occupied by the possibilities of bringing your dream to life.  But in the absence of a big dream, there is a vacuum of restlessness that will inevitably be filled, not with the wonders of imagination and possibility, but with pettiness – criticism, complaint, judgement and jealousy, the stuff with which pettiness is made.

Do you find yourself getting hung up on the small stuff?  Dream bigger.  Excite your mind with dreams so big you don’t have any room in your mind for pettiness.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!  Live the life you’ve imagined.”  Henry David Thoreau

 

No Refunds, Returns or Exchanges on This or Any Other Day

I am away this week, off in the mountains, far from the normal hustle and chaos of silicon valley.  I came across a sign in a shop that felt like an invitation to truly step away from my routine and take in the beautiful surroundings.

“This bright, new day… complete with 24 hours of opportunities, choices, and attitudes.  A perfectly matched set of 1440 minutes.  This unique gift, this one day, cannot be exchanged, replaced or refunded.  Handle with care.  Make the most of it.  There is only 1 to a customer.”  sign at Multiversity

How easy it is to assume there is always tomorrow.  But this moment in time cannot be exchanged, replaced or refunded.  No returns.  The events of this day are final.  May you experience great opportunities and choices in today’s 1440 minutes, and a positive attitude no matter what you encounter.

Quintessential Quotes – Ruminations on Regret

Regrets… we’ve all had a few.  Disappointed by what could have been, what should have been, by what may never come to pass.  Regret can derail your joy, lock you in the disappointment and sadness of yesterday’s missed opportunities. It is a thief of the present moment.  As painful as regret may be, there are lessons to be learned.  Below are some insightful ruminations on the subject of regret.

“Never regret your past.  Rather, embrace it as the teacher it is.”  Robin Sharma

“I think the only advice I can give you on how to live your life well is, first off, remember… it’s not the things we do in life that we regret on our deathbed, it is the things we do not.”  Randy Pausch

“It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.”  Jackie Joyner-Kersee

“I don’t regret anything, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t look back and think, ‘What was I thinking?'”  David Beckham

“Regret is the worst human emotion.  If you took another road, you might have fallen off a cliff.  I’m content.”  William Shatner

“Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn’t turn our very well – you go, ‘Why did you do that?’  But in the end, I can’t regret them because I met amazing people.  There was always something that was worth it.”  Robin Williams

“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal.  You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”  Barbara Bush

“We must all suffer from one of two pains:  The pain of discipline or the pain of regret.  The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”  Jim Rohn

“Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest.  To regret deeply is to live afresh.”  Henry David Thoreau

 

One of the Saddest Stories Ever, but a Great Reminder to Us Every Day

“Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well.  Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number really.  How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it?  Perhaps four, five times more, perhaps not even that.  How many times will you watch the full moon rise?  Perhaps twenty.  And yet it all seems limitless.” 

The words above are from the book The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles. It’s a powerful passage, and a favorite of Brandon Lee’s, son of martial arts legend, Bruce Lee.  In fact, Brandon selected the passage for his wedding invitation, a wedding that would never take place.  Just two weeks prior to his wedding, 28-year-old Brandon Lee was accidentally killed filming a scene for The Crow, a movie in which he was starring.  The passage from The Sheltering Sky is now etched on Brandon’s tombstone, a stark reminder of how very limited life really is.

“For what level of mediocrity will you settle?” Brandon Lee

Take in the moments of today, a sunset, a phone call, a quiet moment with someone you love.  Make the most of your limited days and don’t ever settle for a mediocre life.  Make yours a life worth remembering.

If You Had Last Week to Live Over Again, What Would You Do Different?

Nadine Stair, an 85-year-old woman from Kentucky, was asked “How would you have lived your life differently if you had a chance?” Her response became an instant classic.  She said,

“If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I’d limber up.
I’d be sillier than I’ve been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances,
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who was sensible and sane,
hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments.
If I had to do it over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else – just moments,
one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere without a thermometer,             a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had to live my life over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances,
I would ride more merry-go-rounds,
I would pick more daisies.”
– Nadine Stair

As I read Nadine’s response, I couldn’t help but wonder how I would answer that question at the end of my life.  Certainly she offers great insight at 85 years old.  But then I thought, why wait…

Rather than looking back on the entirety of my life wondering what I wished I’d done differently, with no time left to make any changes, why not look back each year and ask the same question, “If I had last year to live over again, what would I do different?”  What about last month?  Last week?  Yesterday?

Every day we have the opportunity to look back and learn, so we can live tomorrow differently, better than the days that came before.  If you had the last week to live over again, what would you do different?  Perhaps you can do it differently today.

 

Are You Able to Live an Amazing Life Now, From Where You Are?

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”  Theodore Roosevelt

We dream and wish and we wonder.  We wait for the perfect plan and the right weather, the right time and place.  We wait for other people and permission.  We wait, we make excuses, and in the process, we put our dreams on hold.

In our desire to have everything just right, we end up planning the perfect life instead of actually living it.  We prepare to live while life passes us by.

Today, like everyday, is the perfect time to begin, to do what you can, with whatever you have.  It doesn’t matter where you are, it only matters where you’re going.  May the steps you take today bring you closer to the life you’ve imagined.

The Sure-Fire Way to Be Unhappy – and What You Can Do About It

One of my favorite posts was about the 10 things that always me happy. (you can read it here)  It’s important information to know, if only to provide us clarity on what things we should be intentionally pursuing.

But there are two sides to the pursuit of happiness.  One is to spend time doing the things that make us happy, and the other is avoiding the things that make us miserable.  There is one sure-fire way to unhappiness we should all be aware of:

If your happiness is dependent on other people doing things the way you want them to, your days of happiness are over.

Don’t allow someone else to control whether or not you will be happy.  Pursue happiness on your terms, in ways that are within your control.  Then you will have the freedom to be happy whenever you choose.

What Do You Do When Life Is Overwhelming? 3 Tips to Finding Your Way Back to Balance

Day after day, like the waves of the oceans, life just keeps on coming.  Relentlessly.  Without stop.  No matter what one does to prepare, no matter the attitude or enthusiasm, there are times when rest is what’s needed, a moment to catch a breath… but the minutes keep moving, bringing with it, more.  More requests, more demands, more people.  More everything.

When life begins to feel overwhelming there are a 3 things that help me find my way back to balance:

1.  I change something, anything.  My daily routine, the people I spend time with, the places I go.  I find the new perspective forces me to engage differently with the world.  See my surroundings in a new way.
2. I begin to look at those around me, not to see who has a newer car or a bigger house, but the people around me who are struggling with life in a far more challenging way than I am.  Perspective.  From there I am able to find my way back to remembering the many blessings I have, even in the midst of a relentless life.
3. Finally, I get a cup of coffee, sit in my favorite chair, and commit to begin again, to face the waves, grateful to be around to face them.

I hope that life is not too overwhelming for you at the moment.  But if it is, I hope you are able to find your way back to balance and peace with some new perspective.

Are You Looking for Success? Just Make Sure You’re Pointed in the Right Direction

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”

In these few but powerful words, Oliver Wendell Holmes outlines the 3 keys to success:

1. Success doesn’t depend on where you are at the moment (or where you’ve been)
2. Direction, not speed is the important factor
3. In order to succeed you must actually be moving

Every day can bring you closer to success.  Just make sure you’re pointed in the right direction.